Math of Apathy
MY ELOQUENCE IS FAILING ME,
BUT THE HAZE MAKES IT EASIER TO SEE.
BLACK LUNGS MAKE IT EASIER TO BREATHE.
MINDS OPEN TO INFIDELITY.
IRREVERANCE IS PLAGUING ME,
BUT IT’S ONLY THE FAULT OF HONESTY,
AND I’M NOT GONNA TRY TO COME BETWEEN
TWO CRITICAL SIDES THAT COLLIDE INTO MY PERSONALITY.
I’M LOSING COUNT AS WE’RE LOSING NUMBERS,
THE EARTH’S QUAKING ‘CAUSE WE’RE TAKING COVER,
AND WE’RE BORING HOLES LIKE THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO DISCOVER.
I’M LOSING FAITH IN THE FACE OF FAITHLESS,
AND I’M DRESSING IT UP AS AGNOSTIC COMPLACENCE.
DEAF TO DIADIC EXAMPLES,
BUT LEADING A HANDFUL OF THEM RATHER CASUALLY.
I’VE HAD A LOT OF LOVES IN MY LIFE,
AND FOR THAT I AM FORTUNATE.
AND I’M FAIRING FAIRLY WELL
FOR A MAN OR A WOMAN BORN IN A NATION’S DEBT.
BUT I’M TRIPPING OVER SHIT THAT I KNOW IS IRRELEVENT,
AND IT’S LIKELY TO HINDER DEVELOPMENT
OF PREDICTION-BASED SYLLOGISTIC CONSEQUENTS.
NAIVITY AND APATHY ARE TWO I’M KEEPING CLOSE TO ME
WHILE I’M HOLDING ON FOR ANOTHER CHANCE TO BREATHE
JUST ONE MORE BREATH OF PROVOCATION
TO RENDER SOMETHING QUANTITATIVE
AND COMPARABLE TO RESULTS I WANT TO SEE.
BUT I’M LOSING COUNT AS WE’RE LOSING NUMBERS,
THE EARTH’S QUAKING ‘CAUSE WE’RE TAKING COVER,
AND WE’RE BORING HOLES LIKE THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO DISCOVER.
I’M LOSING FAITH IN THE FACE OF FAITHLESS,
AND I’M DRESSING IT UP AS AGNOSTIC COMPLACENCE.
DEAF TO DIADIC EXAMPLES,
BUT LEADING A HANDFUL OF THEM RATHER CASUALLY.
NAIVITY AND APATHY ARE TWO I’M KEEPING CLOSE TO ME
WHILE I’M HOLDING ON FOR ANOTHER CHANCE TO BREATHE
JUST ONE MORE BREATH OF PROVOCATION
TO RENDER SOMETHING QUALITATIVE
AND COMPARABLE TO RESULTS I WANT TO SEE.
*****
Haystacks
I’M CHARMED, FLATTERED, INFATUATED
WITH EVERY MOTHER FUCKER THAT I’VE EVER HATED.
I’M WEIGHING THE RISK AND REWARD
IN THE ECHO OF OPPORTUNITY KNOCKING ON BOLTED DOORS.
I’M INSULTING MYSELF BY THE BREATHLOAD,
TESTING MY APTITUDE
ALL OVER THINGS I’D PREFER TO HAVE DONE THAN TO ACTUALLY DO.
RELAXATION IS FUTUILE.
I’M PING-PONGING THOUGHTS IN MY SKULL
OFF OF PLATES THAT ARE FUSED,
THROUGH A FLUID CEREBRAL.
I’M FRONT FLIPPING HURDLES AND LANDING ON PEOPLE,
DESENSITIZED AS DEATHS CONTINUE TO TOLL,
MISTAKING THE MARTYRS FOR MOLES.
WE’RE ALL NIBBLING HAYSTACKS.
WE’RE ALL PULLING THE PLOW.
WE’RE ALL FENDING OFF FLIES FROM OUR FACE
THROUGH THE HAZE OF THE SWEAT FROM OUR BROW.
WE ALL CARRY THE CARRIAGE
THROUGH AN EVOLUTIONARILY INSIGNIFICANT PARRISH,
FRAMED FOR A TRYING TERRAIN.
WE’RE ALL NEEDLES IN HAYSTACKS,
AND THERE’S NOTHING TO PLOW.
AND WE DON’T MIND THE FLIES ON OUR FACE
OR THE TASTE OF THE SWEAT FROM OUR BROW.
WE’RE JUST RIDING THE CARRIAGE
TO AN EVOLUTIONARILY INSIGNIFICANT PERISH,
FRAMED FOR A TRYING TERRAIN,
BUT PAINSTAKINGLY TAKING OURSELVES TO THE GRAVE.
TAKING UNDER THE FAME OF A SAVIOR, BAKING BREAD MAKERS,
SCATTERING ASH FOR THE REGENERATORS
TO BOND IN COVALENCE, LATTICE, AND MAKE US
JUST TO DEGRADE SO THAT WE SEPARATE US
IN FISSIONS OF SADISTS, LIARS, AND RAPISTS
IMPLODING IN WAYS THAT WE KNOW DEVASTATE US.
ENCROACHING LIKE OCEANS, WE’RE FLOATING,
SO BOUYANT WITH SODIUM, BLOATED, INNATELY CORROSIVE,
DESENSITIZED AS DEATHS CONTINUE TO TOLL,
NOT KNOWING THE MARTYRS FROM MOLES.
*****
Attention Deficit
FOREVER IS RELATIVE, BUT OUR FUTURE WAS YESTERDAY,
AND I HAVEN’T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ANY ATTENTION I’VE PAID.
I’VE A FRIEND I CALL SANITY, AND HE KEEPS GETTING MAD AT ME.
I THINK IT’S THE COMPANY I’M KEEPING THAT’S KEEPING HIS COMPANY AT BAY.
I OUGHT TO WALK AWAY FROM THIS WASTE OF A CONVERSATION.
I OUGHT TO TAKE MORE FUCKING PRIDE IN DEVOTING MY LIFE TO LEGITIMATE INSPIRATION.
AND I OUGHT TO QUIT REHASHING THE SHIT THAT’S THE TOPIC OF EVERY STATION.
I’M ONLY DEPRESSING MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS AS WELL
AS SLOWLY THE TRUTH’S GETTING HARDER TO TELL
ALONG WITH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OIL TANKERS AND INK WELLS.
I’M THE INCARNATION OF A SEMINAR ON MAKING YOUR OWN COMPANY COMPLETELY INTOLERABLE.
I PROMISE YOU IT ISN’T HARD.
YOUR ACHIEVING ACHIEVEMENT IS PRACTICALLY FOOL-PROOF.
THERE’S A FINE FUCKING LINE BETWEEN COCKY AND CONFIDENT,
AND YOU’RE GONNA DANCE AS WE TRAMPLE IT,
FORCE-FED TO SWALLOW REGURGITATED SHIT.
YOU OUGHT TO WALK AWAY FROM THIS WASTE OF A CONVERSATION.
YOU OUGHT TO TAKE MORE FUCKING PRIDE IN DEVOTING YOUR LIFE TO LEGITIMATE EDUCATION.
AND YOU OUGHT TO QUIT REHASHING THE SHIT THAT’S THE GOSSIP OF VIOLENT NATIONS.
YOU’RE ONLY DEPRESSING YOURSELF AND YOUR FRIENDS AS WELL,
AND TAKE IT FROM ME IT’S A FAST ROAD TO HELL,
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CONTEND OR DEFEND EVERY BOMBSHELL.
FOREVER IS RELATIVE, BUT OUR FUTURE WAS YESTERDAY,
AND YOU HAVEN’T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ANY ATTENTION YOU’VE PAID.
FOREVER IS RELATIVE, BUT OUR FUTURE WAS YESTERDAY,
AND WE HAVEN’T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ANY ATTENTION WE’VE PAID.
FOREVER IS RELATIVE, BUT OUR FUTURE WAS YESTERDAY,
AND I WISH WE’D BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ALL THE ATTENTION WE PAID.
*****
The Great State of Euphoria (Stay Vocal Theme)
LIFE IS GOOD WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT THE MOVES YOU’RE MAKING.
AND LIFE IS GRAND WHEN YOU OFFER YOUR HAND LIKE IT’S FOR THE TAKING.
I KNOW THERE’S A POWER INSIDE OF US ALL THAT COULD BUILD OR DESTROY ANY WALL, AND I’M ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE IMPACT THAT I AM MAKING.
‘CAUSE I CAN MOVE A MOUNTAIN WITH MY SHOVEL IN HAND.
AND I CAN TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT FROM RIGHT WHERE I STAND.
AND THOUGH OUR STRUGGLE MAY BE UPHILL AND OUR ROAD BE HARD AND LONG, WE WILL GET THERE JUST AS FAST AS WE CAN.
(AND WE’LL BE SINGING)
I CAN MOVE A MOUNTAIN WITH MY SHOVEL IN HAND.
AND I CAN TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT RIGHT WHERE I STAND.
AND THOUGH OUR STRUGGLE MAY BE UPHILL AND OUR ROAD BE HARD AND LONG, OUR SMILES SHINE LIKE DIAMONDS, AND OUR HEARTS ARE FILLED WITH SONG.
AND WE’LL MAKE OURSELVES HEARD ACROSS EVERY LAND.
AND WE’LL MAKE NO WASTE THAT WE CANNOT USE AGAIN.
AND WE’LL DO IT JUST AS BEST AS WE CAN.
*****
Credits & Liner Notes
Not only did Gabe record this in his basement, but he and Jenny let us sleep on their floor and fuck up their house for a week while we were doing it. We slept on Anna and Colin’s floor a couple nights, too. Thank you. Mike drank with us, and a friend of his brought pizzza cookies and the Hey Arnold movie, which helped keep the process moving along. Juff mastered it, then Lucky Lacquers, Imprint and United manufactured it. Without Half Raptor, this would not exist, so thanks to Arkansas for producing those guys, too.
Tomorrow is going to be a very different place, and we are trying to find the perfect balance of apathy and activism in order to solidify some sort of existence for ourselves and our people. We know what our followers expect, and we will provide. No car will go ungassed, no baby will go unfed, and no artist will be forced to wallow in obscurity.
The problem we’re seeing with things is a constant externalization of blame and guilt. There are lots of assholes running around, and while it’s tough to admit, you and I are two of them. We’re just as willing to put our blinders on and go about our day as anyone else. That, however, will soon stop.
We made it through May 21st, because I had a talk with the big guy, and he agreed to extend our stay long enough to see what this record can accomplish. We know it will be huge, but the question is… How huge? Can Brutal Like a Puppy Dog save the earth from its inevitable destruction? I don’t know, but we figured a few more trees and some refined petroleum were worth it to get this message out. One more scar on the earth for the sake of art is no big deal to us. Did I just internalize or externalize that one?
Oh yeah… River and Scabs did a great job posing for Dick Schluter’s photo on our kitchen table. Thanks to those three, too!
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